I know that breaking old patterns - often from before we are even born - is hard. HARD. I have had to struggle with breaking old patterns so I know. I know.
And yet, when we deny our own needs in order to please, sacrifice, appease...others, we are truly losing. Losing our very soul essence. Giving it away...bit by bit.
And I know it is not easy...not easy. And yet it CAN BE DONE. You can claim for yourself what you need. Let others take care of themselves. ALL the things listed above.
And it won't be EASY...and yet, over time, even when those old voices/old words/old habits come up, you can begin to make a shift in you. I how you respond. How you handle situations that have felt hopeless for so long.
And begin, step by step, to have more compassion for you.
Even if those old voices keep howling and crying and pulling at you - YOU CAN MAKE A CHANGE.
It may be that those old voices always howl and pull and cry...that DOES NOT MEAN that you have to give yourself over. To surrender you. To put your needs aside. I think that is the time to get stronger. More certain. To stand up, stand your ground with kindness and power. Certainty.
Try. Little steps. Just try.